Whip-sawwed in SLC

So it was another week up City Creek canyon for our long run. It’s a great run because traffic is limited (cars one day and bikes every other), there is drinking water up the entire canyon, and you have shade from about 5 pm on. We had a great workout but we didn’t get 20 in like we hoped. It was, “a mere 16.5” as Fatso would say - but it was at a good pace.

We planned on meeting the Old Man somewhere in SLC. He had a meet with the Syracuse XC team at Sugar House Park and figured the bus would be rolling through SLC about the same time we were headed north. The plan was to connect via cell phone and he would have the bus driver drop him off on an off-ramp and we would pick him up. You can probably guess, that didn’t work out. The meet lasted a little longer than expected and we set off earlier than expected. When I reached the Old Man via cell phone he was waiting for his last runner to finish the final race. We were only about ten minutes from SLC so we decided we better just go pick him up. We must like the Old Man because it was unanimous - if it was anyone else in the group we would only meet them half-way and they would have to run the other half.

After making a few wrong turns, the navigation system in the Delta doesn’t work all that well, we found him fairly quickly. The Old Man was happy to see us, until he learned he would be buying ice sodas for everyone for the extra work. We made our way downtown and began our run.

I think Fatso needs a little more “guy” time. He couldn’t stop singing all these teenie-boper songs. “Tonight, Tonight” by Hot Chelle Rae and “That’s not my Name” by the Ting Tings. That’s pretty much radio Disney at its best from what I hear. Of course he had his own versions. Something like, “they call me Fatso, they call me ______ . . . That’s not my name. That’s not myyyyy . . . name.” It’s a good thing we go running. Well good for him. The rest of us were a little embarrassed to be seen, er heard with him.

We held a decent pace going up the canyon. The more familiar we get with all the twists and turns the easier going up becomes. There’s “the gate”, “soap springs”, “Stewart’s crack”, “the apple tree”, the treatment plant, the two little downhill sections, “snake root”, “rotary park”, “the pavilion”, and “three bridges”. Each of these little landmarks tracking our progress up the mighty hill. We reached the top at the third bridge and turned around. It feels so good to run downhill. Back at the pavilion we take a short break to choke down some Gu and chase it with water. Once the gag-reflex subsides we are on our way.

Now we’re cookin’, maintaining a wicked pace. We’ve run this fast plenty of times but this time we are determined not to stop. We have tried to focus on eliminating the “breaks” in our runs. You know, walking for 30 seconds while you get a drink or after you choke on a bug. The run down the canyon gets quieter, a little less “tonight, tonight” and “that’s not my name”.

Finally we are back in the city with only a mile or so to go. The streetlights and storefronts are a welcome addition; the condition of the canyon road can use some improvement and it makes you nervous running it in the dark. People are the new obstacle and we have to make our intentions clear as we move into single file and indicate the side of the sidewalk we are heading for. 

As we approach a young man in a wheel chair, Fatso takes the lead and moves to the right. Our focus is on the wheelchair operator as we try to make eye contact to ensure our intentions are understood. He doesn’t move to either side but he does slow down enough that we are confident in our direction. Just before we pass him Fatso runs into a low-hanging tree branch. Before I realize what has happened the branch whips off his face into mine; punching me in the cheek and mouth before scratching it’s way across my neck. I reach for the branch, my reaction way to slow to soften the blow or slow it down for the twin. It whips off my face and slashes across his face and neck with increasing force. By now, Fatso is holding his face, I’m yelling at him for intentionally whipping the branch into my face, the twin is trying to figure out what just happened, and the Old Man is enduring the same humiliating and painful fate. The intensity of our run has instantly been diverted from pushing hard through the last half-mile of “a mere 16.5” to immense anger. We’re clutching our faces, yelling at each other, and trying to figure out what just happened. We may have been confused, but the guy in the wheelchair and the lady following him were not. It was all they could do to unsuccessfully hide their amusement. It only took us a few seconds to see the humor in their faces and decide it was time to go. We finished the last half-mile in silence.

After resting for a few minutes and trying to shake off the blow. We begin to realize that all four of us have scratches in the exact same places on our face and neck. Our tempers begin to ease as we begin to see the humor in it. It’s nothing an ice soda, some salty snacks and a luxurious ride home in the Delta can’t fix.

Ice the Dolphins

Runners are strange. It’s 10:30 pm and here I sit, alone, on the edge of the tub with my legs in a five-gallon bucket of ice. Alice and the Fatsos think I’m addicted. In fact, Alice has said more than once how I like icing my legs more than going to bed with her. It’s not true. The St. George marathon is less than six weeks away and things are getting weirder - as usual. 

Today we all had to squeeze in our run during work. That is during lunch. I’m not sure just how hot it was but I think we were pushing 100 degrees (the weather says 96).The Fatsos ran together and one of the twins got really sick. I ran alone. After my run I sent a text to Fatso to see how theirs went. 

putting down an ice soda. How was your run Fatso?

you TUB---O---LARD

ours sucked. I actually got sick from the heat, never happened to me before

migrane, diareahh, chills

not good. I went at noon too. Too hot not fun.

Fatso felt good, didn’t happen to him

I don’t think it’s smart to run in the heat like this

im feeling good now

yea, when it gets close to 100 its not smart

Ya gotta get your workout in. There’s no skippin’ this close to the marathon. That’s why you have to ice those dolphins. If you don’t recover from your last run, how are you going to be up for the next one. Friday will be here soon and it will be time for a 20 miler. So I have to ice. I don’t have a choice. The question is whether to ice at night before bed, or in the morning and before bed.

Ben Lomand Superman

Wednesday night Fatso and I went on an 8.3 mile tempo run. It was a butt-kicker. It makes a big difference when you are running with someone. You push each other without even trying.

On Saturday I went on a long run with someone else. The Fatsos had to go help the Big Cheese and Co. at the shop. They couldn’t get away until about three or four and I had other plans. I have to get amp’d up for the long runs and waiting around all day makes it tougher. During the week Speedy asked me if I was interested in running up to Ben Lomand Peak and back. He was planning on leaving at about 7 am or so and the run is just under 16 miles. I thought that sounded just about right but didn’t want to commit until I knew what the Fatsos were going to do.

So I called Speedy early Saturday morning, hoping I would catch him before he left. I was nervous calling that early in the morning but he answered after the first ring. He was excited I could make it. We had to make quick work of things to get going before it got too hot. I quickly took care of business and decided I better bring along some back up supplies just in case. 

I arrived at the North Ogden Pass trailhead at about 7:50 in a full sweat. I quickly identified the bathrooms and made a b-line. Locked. No big deal. I could wait another few minutes. Surely whoever was in there would be finished soon. After several minutes I began to wonder if someone was actually conducting any business. I made some quick calculations and decided I better find out. I tried the handle again. Still locked. “Anyone in there?” No answer. “Hello?”

Based on my previous calculations I knew I better act fast. I grabbed the back up supplies and headed for the trees. I’ll spare you the details. Suffice it to say, if your’e going on a long run make sure you have some back up. You never know what’s going to happen when the adrenaline starts pumping.

Speedy showed up a considerate two minutes after I wandered out of the trees. Just enough time to cool down and gather the necessary faculties required for a 16 mile run. We headed up the first set of switchbacks at a nice hiking pace - about a 12 minute mile. The first two or three miles are rocky and steep. We leveled out for about a mile and then hit some more switchbacks. These ones are less rocky and shaded by enormous pines. Finally we get to a stretch where we can get some running in. We are about four miles into things and it feels great to get a full stride in. 

Soon we arrive at the saddle that joins the North Fork Park trail with the North Ogden Pass trail. So far we’ve passed two people and one deer - not too bad for such a popular trail. From this point the real climbing begins. The last mile or so is very steep and very rocky. We slow our pace to just under a 14 minute mile. During our final ascent we pass about a dozen hikers; most of which comment about our blistering pace. Odd? One of them points out the 18 or so mountain goats grazing on the west slope of the peak. Turns out we’ll see more wildlife on this hike than people.

The view at the peak is incredible. It’s my first time to the top of Ben Lomand Peak and it doesn’t disappoint. The view stretches hundreds of miles. You can see Idaho to the north, Salt Lake City to the south, beyond Willard Bay and the Great Salt Lake in the west, and far beyond Pine View reservoir and the Ogden Valley to the east. If your'e not already out of breath from the climb the views will do the rest of the work.

It’s not break time. We’re only half-way through this and we have work to do. I’m looking forward to pushing a good pace down the mountain. We start climbing down and are dancing through the rocks down the switchbacks. Speedy is more agile than me. It’s obvious he runs the trails more frequently. I’m running with caution; carefully eying every step so not to roll an ankle or take a spill. By the time we’re out of the switchbacks and headed toward the saddle Speedy can sense that I’m itching to speed things up. He encourages me to take the lead and get things moving.

It feels great to really run and I feel more and more confident. There are less rocks and hazards so I continue to increase the speed. Speedy wants to take it a little slower and encourages me to keep going. I’m having too much fun at this point to put up much resistance. 

After the middle section of switchbacks the trail levels out and moves to the north slope of the mountain. It’s much greener on this side and the growth encroaches on the trail. Bushes and tree limbs whip me as i fly down the trail but I’m having too much fun to slow down. Hands up to deflect oncoming branches and limbs. The next one is too big to push out of the way so I duck. Clearing the branch is no problem but lifting my feet over the root crossing the trail is more than I can do. The root grabs my toe and launches me into a full superman. Gravity has its way and I hit the trail hard. I’m lucky. The trail is less rocky and more sandy. i’m covered in dust with little else to show for it. No blood. The only proof is the spike captured on the heart-rate monitor.

I’m running with a little more caution now. That’s probably a good thing because the trail has moved back to the south-west slope with switchbacks and way too many rocks. I make it to the car without any further excitement. It feels great to have another long one in the bank. As I ride my brake down the North Ogden Divide I remember the 7-Eleven just around the corner and can’t resist pulling in for an ice-soda. 

Deep Thoughts

Sundays are nice because you get to relax and just chill. I like hanging out at the fat farm and doing nothing. Except yesterday was a deep thinker and that's heavy and not as cheerful. I can't stop thinking about Tami and how she's doing. It's weird fatso. She definitely is one of us and her health issues just seem so surreal. I guess she is going to start cancer treatments in about a week. She is a tough one and I think she will do fine, but I worry about her and her family. This will surely test them.


Monday we went on a tempo-ish run instead of our usual interval workouts. We were a little sore from our Saturday run; and a lot sore from our M90x jumping lunges. So we ran just over six miles at about a 7:40 pace. It was a nice downhill route and definitely a break from the intensity of the intervals.


We did a one-way run, so after we were done I had to take Fatso to get the Delta. We had a good conversation about Tami and life and hope. All this deep thinking is affecting all our fun juvenile humor. I learned something important though. See, its easy to let your thoughts wander and dwell on negative things. I'm not talking bad or creepy thoughts, just fears and worries. You know - the opposite of faith and hope. Pretty soon your'e caught up in these negative thoughts and you begin to become overwhelmed with anxiety. You become edgy and irritable. Then you have to do some serious digging to get yourself out of the funk your mind created. Fatso told me the Big Cheese counseled him considerably in this area. He told Fatso its a sin to let yourself get carried away in these kinds of thoughts. I think he's right. God has great plans in store for us. He knows we can accomplish big things - much bigger than we understand. So when we allow negative thoughts to overwhelm us and determine how we feel, we thwart God's plan for us and forget our blessings. I'm determined to better 'cuz I think God's plan for us is much better than any of us could dream of engineering.
When your'e learning stuff like this from your friends, you realize they're not friends - they're Fatsos.

City Creek Long Run

So there we were, Saturday late afternoon, 92 degrees outside and we still hadn’t gone on our long run for the week. We were texting back and forth trying to decide what to do. Should we skip it. Should we go run 14 miles in the heat. Finally fatso called with an idea we all could agree on. He suggested we go to the SLC and run up City Creek Canyon while our spouses went shopping - that sounded fun and dangerous. Fun to run up City Creek; dangerous to let Alice and the others go shopping. 

So the ladies dropped us off at the Conference Center and we changed into our running clothes. The run is hard on the way up, just over seven miles of twisting and turning up hill. But coming back down is almost fun. You just kind of let gravity have its way and next thing you know your’e keeping a pretty good pace. It took us about two hours to finish our run and then we showered and met the girls back at the conference center.

We finished up our evening by going to dinner at Ramano’s Macaroni Grill. After a long run like that we all gazeled our sotas. The waitress couldn’t keep our glasses full and seemed a little confused until we filled her in. It was a nice evening out. Alice and I hadn’t been out for several months - the last time the fatsos went on a big run followed by dinner.

Slurpees & M90x

Wednesdays are Tempo-runs. These runs are typically five to ten miles and are a little slower than 5k/10k race pace. We usually have to run these on our own because of work, family, and the chaos that comes with life.

On Thursday, Fatso and I went to Camp Williams with our ward for youth conference. Lately we have developed a minor dependence on ice sodas (slurpees); and that feeling of excitement that comes with leaving on vacation awakened the craving. We were both hauling young men in our vehicles and without thinking were diverted to the closest Maverick for a Mountain Dew ice soda. 

That proved to be our demise (at least with the Sista’s in the group). We couldn’t stay away. Camp Williams is only 15 minutes or so away from a 7-Eleven in one direction and a Maverick in the other. That was too much of a temptation for us and we succumbed several times. Each time we returned with ice soda in hand, subjecting ourselves to the gnashing of teeth by the Sister leaders. I think the ice soda induced brain freeze somehow weakened our mind and made us forget about the previous verbal whipping. 

We had some fun this year. Rappelling, military obstacle courses, swimming, night games, a movie, a cool fireside, just hanging out, amazing food, and M90x. We slept in military barracks which was way fun because everyone was together. Well at least all the boys were in one and all the girls were in another. We went to the girl’s barracks to say hi to Fatso’s wife (Piggy). She went to youth conference too because she is a leader over the young women and an amazing cook for all.

During some free time on Friday fatso jr and the Bowdies decided they wanted to do some M90x. So we pushed several bunk-beds out of the way and cranked up the AC/DC. Next thing you know everyone was involved. We started out doing spider push-ups, russians, leg throws, and sit ups. Then we got into the tough part with jumping lunges and pull-ups. We picked the wrong song for jumping lunges because it was way too long. We ended up doing about 120 lunges. Whenever the boys would stop lunging, I would say, “20 more.” Everyone stuck with it and paid for it with sore muscles later. The next day everyones gluteus was so sore they could hardly sit down. So everyone commenced punching each other in the high-glutes every chance they had.

Friday night rolled around and the Priests still hadn’t gotten in any good pranks so they were determined to make the most of their final night at Camp Williams. One of them set their alarm for three o’clock in the morning and they saran wrapped Ian and Dallas to their beds. Funny thing is, neither one woke up during the ordeal and were still in the same position when they woke up Saturday morning. 

Why Fatso?

After our workout Monday night everyone at the fat-farm was bugging me about posting to the blog. I was feeling like I was getting pecked because see, a journal is not that interesting and nothing out of the ordinary happened. So why should I try to write something about nothing?

Then smart Alice started in on this thing about how I need to tell everyone about the Fatso Running Club, and why it is, and who it is, and how it came to be. And other things like what kind of stuff should be included in the blog and what should definitely be left out. And whether there should be a warning message to all who enter.

I don’t know. As I sit here and write, and re-write, about the fatsos it kind of diminishes the brotherhood. If you know us - you understand. If you don’t know us, I recommend you get to know us - you won’t regret it; and who knows you might start calling your closest friends fatso too.

Since this is a running club. . .

Monday nights we do interval workouts. For these we like to go to the high school track. The track provides a nice flat course and makes it easy to measure distance. Currently we are doing 800 meter intervals at about a three minute pace. This time it was the twins, fatso jr and myself. Fatso jr and I thought the triplet would show this week but he stayed home again to watch TV and work on his lardis. This week we expanded from six intervals to seven. These are killers and we hate 'em. Also, there was a little debate about the inside lane. We started to jockey for the inside lane 'cuz the twins thought there was an advantage. Only I found out there was an advantage; and a big one at that. So I had to swallow some pride and work a little harder this time. The little twins didn't show for the second week in a row. With only about 60 days until the St George marathon we are getting a little worried about whether the little twins are going to stick with it. They are young enough though that they will do fine if they choose. I guess its time to apply some pressure to the fatties to get them out.